To Be Loved or Not Book1 new beginning preview ch1

PREFACE
To be honest, ever since I was born into this world, I realized I was never properly taught the meaning behind true romance, like what it was and how it felt.


Chapter 1. THE PAST AND PRESENT

Although I am about to become 19 years old, not experiencing the feeling of being loved is just not right at all…inside, I feel so empty and as if my other part is missing. The reason behind this might be because my dad barely talked with me after the death of mum and of course I am obviously fine with him hating me, keeping quiet and always complaining that I was the one behind mum’s death…since she used up all of her energy to let me breathe, see and touch the things that are around us in this world.
When mum was still alive, we used to be so happy, doing so-called family things together everyday. Dad used to work as a businessman at this company but right after he found out that mum died when I was born, he just stayed at the office and then somehow vanished without leaving any note saying where he will be or to look for him when I need him. Our old house was in Leeds, but after mum’s death and the disappearance of dad, the house felt so empty. It used to be a house full of laughter and noise, usually from the television where dad sits, usually slouching on the huge white couch watching football while munching on a ham and cheese sandwich which he loved eating, because of mum’s way of making it, he loved her cooking so much that he even managed to ask her to teach him how to cook so he won’t starve if anything happens in the future. After remembering how the house used to be like, I noticed something slipped through the door and as I reached down to grab it, it was a letter from one of my auntie and uncle who lives at Cambridge. Inside the letter it said “hello Kasha, how are you lately? I know you must be feeling terribly lonely and lost since your dad, Pete disappeared right after Sana, your mum’s death…how about you leave the house now and start packing then come over to our place and start living with us? I will ask uncle Sam to deal with your house because we never know if Pete will come back or not…”. Actually a day after I noticed that dad wasn’t around, she called and asked me what was going on so I explained to her through the phone. At that time I was only 12 when dad disappeared so on the phone I remember I was basically trembling with fear and as I spoke, my eyes was filled with tears, slowly pouring down.

Ever since mum’s death and dad’s disappearance, I thought he was gone for good, but later when I was about to start my first day of high school at Cambridge, when I was on my way to my new school, Cambridge High, before my feet approached the main entrance, in the far distance I saw a vague figure of a man who looked like my dad. But after staring for 5 minutes, I then gave up and muttered to myself, “there’s no way he’ll show up like this…just forget it and move on or else you’ll be late, Kasha…” I then quickly fasten my footsteps and before I reached the door to the headmaster’s room, I felt a gentle tap behind my back. “Hey there! So are you the new girl student that just moved here? Don’t be surprised, I’m Aran Williams, the head student council where I discover new students and give them tour around the school and help them when they are in need. So are you here for our school’s fine art department or are you here for the mathematics and applied science department?” Without catching any breathe at all, I thought he was a really super talkative guy which I’m really not used to in the past because the school I used to attend was an all girl’s school so after all the things he said, I politely replied back, “…hello there, and yes I just moved here…I have to say although it’s just my first day here, I really like the area and walking from home to school is so fast, it only took me 10 minutes to arrive here!  But of course I still miss the old school that I used to attend when I was still living in Leeds…my friends there…I wish I had time to tell them that I am now living in Cambridge…maybe when I have free time later I’ll post it on my Facebook status saying that I now live in Cambridge and if it’ll be okay to meet up with them during the holidays…anyways, my name is Kasha Minato. It’s very nice to meet you Aran, and um…thanks for suddenly popping behind me like that, it’ll be nice if you don’t do that in the future though.”  Moments later, Aran and I made our way to the headmaster’s room and when we arrived, he then left me there and before he left, he shouted, “see you later Kasha!” And just like that, he left. After being at the headmaster’s room, I went to the lockers and quickly found an empty locker and placed a lock there so that I can use it when I have more things.
As I was making my way to find Aran at the school canteen, I noticed he was sitting with three people that I didn’t know. So as I slowly walked over to where Aran was sitting, I greeted him when he noticed me and then introduced the three people that were sitting with him. “So, Kasha…um so on my left, that’s one of my best math buddy, Matthew and next to him is Maria, she does fashion design here, and last but no the least next to Maria is Jess, super intelligent in the applied science department-at the moment she’s the top student here in Cambridge High-” Before Aran managed to finish, Jess slightly gave him a nudge telling him to shut up already and that he should quickly finish his lunch as he was talking for a very long time. After Aran introduced his friends to me, I sat down and started talking with them. As the conversation became lively, not for long I felt as if someone was staring at me from a distance so without thinking, I looked around the canteen to see if someone was staring me or not. And there it was, in the far distance of the canteen, I spotted a guy sitting at a corner by himself. The way he was looking at me, with those different colour eyes of his…it was really mysterious when I stared back at him and maybe because I was spotted by him, he quickly turned around and looked at the window. At first I thought “wow, that is such a cute, good-looking guy! his left eye colour is red and his right eye is sky blue..that is so interesting and wait a second…I haven’t seen him in my lessons before, is he new to here too? I hope I can have some confidence so we can talk…and those eyes he’s got…they’re so beautiful yet mysterious, I really want to know more about him!”  But before I had the thought of walking over to talk with him, the bell rang and I quickly reached for my bag and left with Aran and his friends. Before Aran and his friends left, I caught a quick glimpse and I saw the guy looking at me once before leaving the canteen.  I’ll always remember the way he looked at me...he had different eye colours so does that mean he’s got heterochromia iridium? anyways they make his eyes look so beautiful and also mysterious as why they’re different. The other thing I found interesting about him was his hair colour because it was really an interesting colour that I have never seen before in my entire life, it was red like his left eye but beside having red hair, there was also white highlights too which made him look like half Japanese and half British...actually I’m half Japanese and half British because actually some of my past uncles and aunties are Japanese so I think I got some of the language from them which I love hearing a lot. I’m actually a big fan of anime and reading manga when I have free time.  I enjoy drawing and singing when it is raining, the one thing I hate rainy days is because it makes me feel very sleepy.  When it rains, I’m so glad that I have Yuki, my pet cat with me because there are times that I feel lonely since mum passed away and dad, who vanished after mum’s death.